As the new decade gets under way are you struggling to keep your resolutions?  Did you give up already?  Maybe you didn’t even bother this year because in the past you’ve never been successful.  The sad fact is that most people will fail.  That’s because in their enthusiasm they set their goals too high.  Then they become overwhelmed and ultimately abandon their resolve.  So I’d like to offer you a positive thought process that can keep you on track for whatever you choose to do.  You should make your resolution be to always live in the present.

Most of us live too much in the past.  We stress over what didn’t get finished, what didn’t work out, and the stuff we wish we had or hadn’t done.  But the thing about the past is that no matter how much you think about it, there is nothing you can do to change it.  We waste so much energy on regret, frustration, and lament that we don’t have anything left for the future.  The past should only be there to learn from; to evaluate your mistakes and make adjustments to achieve better results.  But then you have to let it go.

Putting too much emphasis on the future isn’t good either.  We overburden ourselves with so many deadlines, demands and desires that we hardly notice what’s happening around us.  We get lost in our ambition and forget what is most important.  And if you start to dread what may or may not happen that subsequently becomes the cause of a negative outcome.  Apprehensive thoughts paralyze you from taking action.  You can’t do anything about tomorrow unless you can handle today effectively.

However, when you think about the present you can be calm and peaceful.  By not looking backward or forward you can take the pressure off, or relieve your anxiety, or pain.  Put your attention only on what is immediately in front of you.  Focus on the things that are good, that you’re grateful for.  And choose to feel happy.  In the present you have the power to change whatever you want.  You can do whatever you want to do!

Now, I’m not saying you should neglect your future.  You just have to be smart about it.  As a Life Coach I help clients set manageable goals.  That means deciding what you can realistically do right now, and breaking your goal down into small actionable steps.  Then take it one day at a time.  Acknowledge your accomplishments as they happen.  And take time to enjoy yourself.

Being present is critical to relationships too.  You have to accept the connection for exactly what it is.  If you get carried away with fantasies (or demands) about your future your expectations will become inappropriate.  And if you can’t let go of things that happened in the past, resentment will destroy your future.  You have to be able to forgive and forget.

Staying present is the best way to get past a breakup too.  Next time I’ll write about how you can feel happy, even with a broken heart.  But for now try to have a happy New Year, one day at a time.