What do you do when you spot an adorable pair of shoes?  Maybe first you look at the price tag.  You probably try them on.  But if they don’t have your exact size do you try and squeeze your toes into a smaller size?  Or stuff several inserts into a shoe that’s too big?  Not likely.  No matter how cute they are if they don’t fit your foot (or your budget) you’ll probably put them back.  But most women don’t apply that same good sense when they meet a hot guy.  Instead they push and pull and pretend that everything is alright, even when it’s not.

When a relationship doesn’t work out or ends badly, women frequently ask me if there was something they should have seen in the beginning.  The answer is almost always yes.  But they were too caught up in the seduction to notice that it wasn’t a good fit.  You have to know what the warning signs are (and heed them) before you get too involved.

Some of them are obvious like if he drinks too much, lies, is negative or can’t stop talking about his ex.  But here are some more subtle clues to look for that can save you a lot of heartache down the road.

1. He doesn’t respect your boundaries.  I f you tell a man no and he continues to push to get his way then he’s not respecting your needs.  He’s being manipulative.  It’s a sign that he could be controlling and will always need to have his way.

2. He’s a blamer.  He’ll name someone else as the cause for everything that happens to him, or always have an excuse for why it’s not his fault.  If he blames you for anything that doesn’t go right, no matter how small (even if it is your fault), he’s probably the defensive type who can’t take responsibility for his own actions.

3. He’s narcissistic.  He constantly interrupts and doesn’t let you finish your thoughts, or sentences.  He’s more interested in talking about himself than learning about you and he doesn’t remember important information you share about yourself.  That’s a good indication that the whole relationship will be all about him.

4. He’s controlling.  He doesn’t ask you, but tells you what you’re going to do.  Such as if he orders food for you without consulting you on what you’d like.  Or buys tickets to something before finding out if you’d even like to go.  Confidence is very attractive but it becomes control if you don’t have a choice.

5. He’s moving too fast.  A commitment-phobic will try to pull you into his life quickly because subconsciously he knows he’s not going to keep you around.  He’ll invite you to do everything with him until he knows he definitely has you, then he’ll feel smothered and suddenly leave you without warning.  Don’t fall for it.  Slow the pace of the relationship.  No more than two to three dates a week in the beginning.

A man might not wave all his red flags on the first, second or even third date.  So you have to keep up a vigilant watch.  Sex will definitely cloud your judgment.  However, empowered girls are too smart to ever allow sex to make them stupid.